Well, I'm not going to California, but I am going right back where I started from.  Today I am to make a call to my father and ask him to have his woman pick me up.  I suspected I would have to anyway, but we got kicked out last night, turning suspicions into realities.

John is our roomie, and honestly, I'm not mad that he's kicking us out.  That doesn't bother me, as we've freeloaded off of him for too long.  What DOES bother me is the fact that not only Thursday, but essentially the past six weeks have been filled with me just wanting to know then answer to one question, "Do I need to make the call?"  I was met with an emphatic no.  "We'll work it out," or "Everything is fine," yet the second he gets our half of the rent lets us know we're being kicked to the curb.  Essentially we have a week to find places to stay, so...yeah.

Buddy and I are to be shipped off to Dad's, that was never really in question.  Charlie is to move in with his nephew and get a job at this saw mill.  Mother...is another matter.  Nobody's found a place for her to go.  Her only hope left is her aunt, who she doesn't anticipate anything good from.  Charlie doesn't want her with his family because then he feels he won't be able to work at the saw mill (seriously, the whole neck of the woods is a piece of work, let alone the saw mill).  While her name is on the deed of the house we grew up in Dad point blank said if she wanted it, she would have to buy it, otherwise she is not allowed in under any circumstances.  She was actually desperate enough to where she called her father though, whom she hasn't spoken to since she was 17.

I'm not supposed to say that we got kicked out, and I understand that.  I mean...my thought is that if I'm making a plea from the heart I should probably be honest.  It's also the best way that I know to properly convey the urgency, providing he says something to the effect of, "Well, I get off on...let's see, the 20th, how's that grab ya?"  I can't wait that long, and I know Diana just took time off to go to Arkansas, so what if she can't get time off to pick our happy asses up?  I mean...while I'm not going to be homeless, I'm still pretty fucking worried because I don't know any of the particulars.

ANNOUNCEMENT:  Tomorrow's song will be the final song of the day.  In our efforts to "economize" here, that's getting the boot.  (Personally, I don't think it will last long, but on the offhand chance it does...you know)  In fact we're eliminating WoW, Cable (and the interwebs), and possibly our account at Hollywood Video.  Even the cell phone is getting uh...revamped?  Anyway...it's all in an effort to keep everyone here, and I don't know how well that's going to go.  In light of that, I realized I had never had an Aerosmith song.  I would have to say they're one of the more influential bands of their generation, despite the fact that they've been together like 40 years.  Anyhoo, this song is pretty tame compared to my second choice "Love in an Elevator."  Also, if you send me an address or a phone number, I'll try to keep in touch (I HATE phones though.).

Dream On - Aerosmith

every time that I look in the mirror
all these lines on my face getting clearer
the past is gone
it went by like dusk to dawn
isn't that the way
everybody's got their dues in life to pay

yeah, I know nobody knows
where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
you got to lose to know how to win

half my life's in books' written pages
live and learn from fools and from sages
you know it's true
all the things come back to you

sing with me, sing for the year
sing for the laughter and sing for the tear
sing with me, if it's just for today
maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away

dream on, dream on, dream on,
dream yourself a dream come true
dream on, dream on, dream on,
and dream until your dream comes true
dream on [7x]

Alright, I'll be the first to admit that even if you aren't really a fan of Michael Jackson per se, you can definitely see his influence EVERYWHERE.  Anyway...I'm still in a sorry state, plus I feel like crap.  However feeling like crap has nothing to do with his death, it just coincides.  I figured I would tell everyone a story for my own amusement.  Also, it's for a later song, so...yeah.

Man in the Mirror, great song, no?  Well once upon a time, Buddy loved that song.  She would play it over and over, seriously.  Then one day, while checking though the presets Mother stops, it's an intro we all recognize.  Cue flailing, screaming, squealing, and while nearly in tears Buddy saying, "OHMYGODI'VENEVERHEARDTHISONTHERADIO!"  (Translation: Oh my god, I've never heard this on the radio.)  I laugh hysterically just thinking about how excited she was.  In fact, Big and Rich went to the fair back home, and I think she was LESS excited about that...except for the fact that she ended up missing Big and Rich due to a mild case of heat stroke.  Anyway, "Man in the Mirror" is posted in honor of Buddy, who will deny this story ever happened.  Also, I'm posting the music video for "Scream" because at the time of it's release it was the MOST expensive video to produce.  Another thing, while watching MTV last night, I realized...the man had EVERYONE in his videos.  Seriously..."Rock My World"...Marlon fuckin' Brando!  I promise I won't post anymore Michael Jackson songs after these though, not without like...a reason...but seriously, I'm broken up about it.

Man in the Mirror - Michael Jackson

I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My
Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See
Their Needs
A Summer's Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere
To Go
That's Why I Want You To
Know

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change)
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah)

I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish
Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No
Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They're Not
Alone?

A Willow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody's Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
(Washed-Out Dream)
They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place
To Be
That's Why I'm Starting With
Me
(Starting With Me!)

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
(Ooh!)
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Ooh!)
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
(Ooh!)
I'm Asking Him To Change His
Ways
(Change His Ways-Ooh!)
And No Message Could've
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .)
Change!

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror,
(Man In The Mirror-Oh
Yeah!)
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better Change!)
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make The Change)
(You Gotta Get It Right, While
You Got The Time)
('Cause When You Close Your
Heart)
You Can't Close Your . . .Your
Mind!
(Then You Close Your . . .
Mind!)
That Man, That Man, That
Man, That Man
With That Man In The Mirror
(Man In The Mirror, Oh Yeah!)
That Man, That Man, That Man
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better Change!)
You Know . . .That Man
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah
(Oh Yeah!)
Gonna Feel Real Good Now!
Yeah Yeah! Yeah Yeah!
Yeah Yeah!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah
(Ooooh . . .)
Oh No, No No . . .
I'm Gonna Make A Change
It's Gonna Feel Real Good!
Come On!
(Change . . .)
Just Lift Yourself
You Know
You've Got To Stop It.
Yourself!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
I've Got To Make That Change,
Today!
Hoo!
(Man In The Mirror)
You Got To
You Got To Not Let Yourself . . .
Brother . . .
Hoo!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
You Know-I've Got To Get
That Man, That Man . . .
(Man In The Mirror)
You've Got To
You've Got To Move! Come
On! Come On!
You Got To . . .
Stand Up! Stand Up!
Stand Up!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Stand Up And Lift
Yourself, Now!
(Man In The Mirror)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Aaow!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Gonna Make That Change . . .
Come On!
(Man In The Mirror)
You Know It!
You Know It!
You Know It!
You Know . . .
(Change . . .)
Make That Change.

Oh hail the lords of '90s catchy alt-pop songs!  This is probably THE pinnacle of that.  I remember being fairly young and singing this, and it was one of Buddy's favorite songs at the point in time.  Anyway, today is Charlie's birthday, so I'm to be on my best behavior, so to speak.  Essentially, I'm supposed to "act normal" because he doesn't like that I'm weird.  Actually a couple weeks ago we were going to rent a video game and I said he should get Wanted, because confidentially...I've always wanted to be a secret assassin who curves bullets.  With that said, he told me not to talk to him, because people MAY assume he knows me.  Meh, who cares?  For someone who doesn't care...he cares an awful lot, you know?  I really don't think I could care less.  Anyway, onto the song!

Absolutely (Story of a Girl)- Nine Days

This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
And while she looks so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her
When she smiles.

How many days in a year
She woke up with hope but she only found tears?
I can be so insincere
Making the promises never for real
As long as she stands there waiting
Wearing the holes in the souls of her shoes
How many days disappear?
You look in the mirror so how do you choose?

And the clothes that you wear
Look swell the next day
Your hair never falls in quite the same way
You never seem to run out of things to say.

This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
And while she looks so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her
When she smiles.

How many lovers would stay?
Just to put up with this shit day after day
How did we wind up this way?
Watching our mouths for the words that we say
As long as we stand here waiting
Wearing the clothes on the souls of our shoes
How do we get there today?
When we're walking too far for the price of her shoes.

And the clothes that you wear
Look swell the next day
Your hair never falls in quite the same way
You never seem to run out of things to say.

This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
And while she looks so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her
When she smiles.

And the clothes that you wear
Look swell the next day
Your hair never falls in quite the same way
You never seem to run out of things to say.

This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
And while she looks so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her.

This is the story of a girl
Her pretty face she hid from the world
And while she looks so sad and lonely there
I absolutely love her.

This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
And while she looks so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her
When she smiles!
When she smiles!

Eh, I picked this song, due to an incredibly vivid dream I had.  It was pretty...wonderful, on the whole.  In fact, I much preferred that dream to real life and tried to stay asleep for as long as possible.  I mean, it was the sort of vividness that I think it was supposed to mean something, whether it was a guide to the future or something else, I felt it was more than just a dream you know?  Also, my brother was in it, and I can't say he often makes guest appearances in my dreams, so...it was just...lovely.

Dreaming - Loudon Wainwright III

I'd rather be dreaming than living
Living's just too hard to do
It's chances not choices
Noises not voices
A day's just a thing to get through
Living's just too hard to do

I'd rather be dreaming than talking
There's nothing to hear or to say
With ears covered mouth closed
The world is opposed
Nothing gets in or away
There's nothing to hear or to say

I'd rather be dreaming than thinking
Thoughts are small comfort to me
Dreams might be pretend
But at least dreams end
And I just can't stop thinking you see
Thoughts are small comfort to me

I'd rather be dreaming than sleeping
Just sleeping you're just as well dead
In dreams I can fly
In dreams I don't die
That's why I lie here in this bed
Just sleeping you're just as well dead

I'd rather be dreaming

I do indeed love Gene Wilder.  The first movie I actually saw him in was Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.  Lately, I've overcome my apprehension to see the Johnny Depp version and can say without a doubt that they are NOT comparable.  They're just two radically different movies.  You can compare the kids, to be sure, but you can't compare Depp and Wilder, in my opinion.  Both are great, and anything to the contrary will get you...judged harshly?  I really thought I had something there, but I was wrong.  Anyway...this is probably the song I think of when someone says, "Willy Wonka."  Also, I'm posting the video of the boat ride, because to this day it's probably the scariest thing on earth.  I literally cannot open my eyes during it.

Pure Imagination - Gene Wilder (Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory)

Willy Wonka:
[Spoken]
Hold your breath
Make a wish
Count to three

[Sung]
Come with me
And you'll be
In a world of
Pure imagination
Take a look
And you'll see
Into your imagination

We'll begin
With a spin
Traveling in
The world of my creation
What we'll see
Will defy
Explanation

If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Wanta change the world?
There's nothing
To it

There is no
Life I know
To compare with
Pure imagination
Living there
You'll be free
If you truly wish to be

If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Wanta change the world?
There's nothing
To it

There is no
Life I know
To compare with
Pure imagination
Living there
You'll be free
If you truly
Wish to be



Also...random poll....

Which fatally flawed Wonka kid do YOU identify with?

Earworm!  Remember in like 2006 when that was like THE buzzword?  This is the song everyone talks about...ok, no, maybe it's "Blue" by Eiffel365, but this one is STILL bad.  I can never get it out of my head!  It's a terrible song, really, I haven't a clue why I like it so much.  It's essentially the antithesis of everything I think, but it's sooooo damn catchy.  I do like Avril Lavigne, just yeah, I prefer other songs.  I really did dislike her though when she first broke out, not only did I SWEAR I had a dream two years previous to her that I had in fact heard "Complicated" in, she just semi-irriatated me.  It's one of those, "I did that before it was cool, now everyone does it" moments.  I wore chippy black nail polish, which just made my mother say that I looked like poor white trash.  I still wear chippy polish, just because I dislike using nailpolish remover.  Where was I going now?  Oh who knows...I'll just get on with it.

Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne

Hey hey, you you
I don't like your girlfriend,
No way, no way
I think you need a new one,
Hey hey, you you
I could be your girlfriend.

Hey hey, you you,
I know that you like me,
No way, no way,
You know it's not a secret,
Hey hey, you you,
I want to be your girlfriend.

You're so fine,
I want you [to be] mine,
You're so delicious,
I think about you all the time,
You're so addictive,
Don't you know what I can do,
To make you feel alright.

Don't pretend,
I think you know,
I'm damn precious,
And hell yeah,
I'm the motherfucking princess,
I can tell you like me too,
And you know I'm right.

She's like so whatever,
You can do so much better,
I think we should get together now,
And that's what everyones's talking 'bout.

Hey hey, you you,
I don't like your girlfriend,
No way, no way,
I think you need a new one,
Hey hey, you you,
I could be your girlfriend.

Hey hey, you you,
I know that you like me,
No way, no way,
You know it's not a secret,
Hey hey, you you,
I want to be your girlfriend.

I can see the way,
I see the way you look at me,
And even when you look away,
I know you think of me,
I know you talk about me all the time,
Again and again.

So come over here,
And tell me what I wanna hear,
Better, yet,
Make the girlfriend disappear,
I don't wanna hear you say her name,
Ever again.

'Cause she's like so whatever,
And you can do so much better,
I think we should get together now,
And that's what everyones's talking 'bout.

Hey hey, you you,
I don't like your girlfriend,
No way, no way,
I think you need a new one,
Hey hey, you you,
I could be your girlfriend.

Hey hey, you you,
I know that you like me,
No way, no way,
You know it's not a secret,
Hey hey, you you,
I want to be your girlfriend.

In a second you'll be,
Wrapped around my finger,
'Cause I can,
'Cause I can do it better,
There's no other,
So when's it gonna sink in,
She's so stupid,
What the hell were you thinking?

In a second you'll be,
Wrapped around my finger,
'Cause I can,
'Cause I can do it better,
There's no other,
So when's it gonna sink in,
She's so stupid,
What the hell were you thinking?

Hey hey, you you,
I don't like your girlfriend,
No way, no way,
I think you need a new one,
Hey hey, you you,
I could be your girlfriend,
No way, no way.

Hey hey, you you,
I know that you like me,
No way, no way,
You know it's not a secret,
Hey hey, you you,
I want to be your girlfriend,
No way, no way.

Hey hey, you you,
I don't like your girlfriend,
No way, no way,
I think you need a new one,
Hey hey, you you,
I could be your girlfriend,
No way, no way.

Hey hey, you you,
I know that you like me,
No way, no way,
You know it's not a secret,
Hey hey, you you,
I want to be your girlfriend,
No way, no way,
Hey hey.

I STARTED listening to Billy Pilgrim, but I was a bum and didn't feel like making a video and writing the lyrics myself so I somehow went from a mad hunt for them, to this.  Perhaps I was reminded of Buddy's passion for this particular song during that.  It was such that on the hip radio station back home, she called to request it, and they actually played it.  If anyone happens to know the lyrics to "Falling Apart" by Billy Pilgrim I will be forever in your debt, but regardless...uh, yes...great song, pretty dirty, but who don't love dirt?

Sex & Candy - Marcy's Playground

Hangin' round downtown by myself
And I had so much time
To sit and think
About myself
And then there she was
Like double cherry pie
Yeah there she was
Like disco superfly
I smell sex and
Candy here
Who's that lounging
In my chair
Who's that casting
Devious stares
In my direction
Mama this surely
Is a dream

Hangin' round downtown by myself
And I had too
Much caffeine
And I was thinkin'
bout myself
And then there she was
In platform double suede
Yeah there she was
Like disco lemonade
I smell sex and
Candy here
Who's that lounging
In my chair
Who's that casting
Devious stares
In my direction
Mama this surely
Is a dream
Mama this surely
Is a dream
Yeah mama this must
Be my dream

I've been thinking, which is seldom a good thing on my part.  I do NOT want to live with my father, and frankly, I don't feel I can go home again, not now anyway.  However...I may have to.  It won't be easy and it will require me to swallow a painful amount of pride but...I think it has to be done.  To be frank...I'm terrified.  I haven't been in Iowa since February 2007, which isn't that bad.  I haven't been in my dad's company more than 24 hours in nearly five years.  I've never been in his uh, "woman's" company that long, ever.  I don't necessarily fear my dad, I think...I fear change.  I know it is inevitable, but that doesn't make it less horrific.  Anyway, the song is pretty uplifting, and George Harrison's solo work I find rather beautiful.

All Things Must Pass - George Harrison

Sunrise doesn't last all morning
A cloudburst doesn't last all day
Seems my love is up and has left you with no warning
It's not always going to be this gray

All things must pass
All things must pass away

Sunset doesn't last all evening
A mind can blow those clouds away
After all this, my love is up and must be leaving
It's not always going to be this gray

All things must pass
All things must pass away
All things must pass

None of life's strings can last
So, I must be on my way
And face another day

Now the darkness only stays the night-time
In the morning it will fade away
Daylight is good at arriving at the right time
It's not always going to be this gray

All things must pass
All things must pass away
All things must pass
All things must pass away

Believe it or not, I'm not a huge fan of the Rolling Stones, which is to say...I've really never paid them any mind whatsoever.  I do like this song a lot though...it's pretty mellow, and yet, the lyrics are strangely...suggestive?  Ok, I swear I cannot be the ONLY person who thought that, and you KNOW what I mean!!  Newsflash though...I am chilled, and I am NEVER cold.  Anyhoo, I'll probably be off to play more Lego Batman.

Coming Down Again - The Rolling Stones

Coming down again, coming down again
Coming down again, coming down again
Share your thoughts, there's nothing you can hide
She was dying to survive
I was caught, oh, taken for a ride
She was showing no surprise
Coming down again, coming down again
Where are all my friends, coming down again
Coming down again, coming down again
On the ground again, coming down again
Slipped my tongue in someone else's pie
Tasting better ev'ry time
She turned green and tried to make me cry
Being hungry it ain't no crime
Coming down again, coming down again
All my time's been spent, coming down again