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Thursday, 24 December 2009

  • I'm THAT age

    This is the first year that Christmas, feels like just another day.  I do wish you all a merry one, but for me, it lacks anything special.  Brian was going to spend the day over here today, but found out when he got off work after midnight that his family was doing their Christmas thing today, and opening presents tomorrow.  Fortunately I get him for New Year's Eve, or rather...he gets me.  I'm not exactly mobile yet, though going to his house shouldn't be a problem.  Monday he wants to take me to see Avatar which I DO want to see, but I don't know how I'm going to navigate a likely busy theatre with a walker and one leg.  Again, if I had two legs this would be NO issue.  I have been missing him more than usual, perhaps I'm hormonal...fucking pill.  I hate that pill, it's so unpredictable.  I've been faithful taking it, nearly the same time everyday...and the current status is not favorable.  The doctor said I should be able to walk in two weeks, providing a good x-ray.  My last appointment everything was looking good, so I'm optimistic.  My mother keeps saying not to get my hopes up.  Why not?  Sure, the depression sucks, but I can't NOT hope to get better soon.  I wish Mother understood that...or anyone for that matter.  Maybe I shouldn't worry about it too much, but what else do I have to do?  I want to be able to walk, ASAP, even though I won't be able to work yet, nor does the doctor know WHEN I can, so...I applied for another job.  A sit down job I might be able to do easier.  It's further away, but it makes more money and it's full time.  Two things that sound very good to me.  Come the thaw, things will be easier of course, but...we'll see for now.  God my bones hurt...not just the broken ones.  I wish it were the 31st already, then the fourth, I hate the way days have to go in order.  Oh well...I'll see Brian soon enough, and Dr. Lindeman too. 

Sunday, 20 December 2009

  • I'm in a funk...I don't know exactly what it is though.  I've been crying a lot, which isn't me.  I've even been missing Brian so much it hurts...which before him I would have bitch slapped myself.  Him having the ability to make my day can mean that he has the ability to ruin it...not that I think he would, but the point remains that when it comes to him, I'm vulnerable.  I know, I'm essentially bedridden and have one good foot, how can I be anything else, but...emotionally, I've never been so completely open.  I almost wish I understood it, but then I would talk myself out of it probably.  What can I say?  I love him, he's amazing (not to mention blind AND deaf), and I wouldn't have it any other way, I just feel slightly awkward being an emotional pile of gunk.  Maybe I'm over thinking this like everything else, but I think not.  I'm actually happy I fell, because it means I have to do other things than have sex...eh, not that I don't do that, but the cast makes it strange.  I've even grown to like playing Monopoly with him...something I NEVER thought I would enjoy.  The gunky emotional thing didn't really start until Brian wanted to have a serious conversation about our lack of things in common.  I see that as a positive generally, BUT it could be a problem.  I don't think it's as big of a deal as he does, at all.  I like keeping my mind open and trying to give things he likes a chance.  He isn't so...into things that I like.  Then it got to the statement of the year, "I love you, and there's no one else I'd rather be with, but..." realistically, I don't expect him to be IN love with me, but I am with him.  Then there's been a shitty phone glitch where I haven't gotten a text from him in two days, and...he's sent them.  I hate that...

Friday, 11 December 2009

  • Please, be distracted

    So, in case yall wanted to SEE my super gross foot, now your dream will come true.  I'm kinda zonked out right now, fyi, as I actually took my drugs.  Extra strength Lortab...yeah...I could go for a nap.  I'm awake though!  Anyway, this past Monday I went for my follow up, which was awesome, considering they removed the staples which I was allergic to.  The rash hasn't gone yet, but I cling to hope.  Then this coming Monday they want to check on my wound.  Brian was there for my appointment, as was Buddy and they took pictures.  I really think he helped me more than anything...and he's going to try and be there on Monday, but if the roads aren't good, he'll at least give me moral support over the phone.  Anyway, these pics are pre-staple removal, giving them a more grotesque and Frankenstein-ish appearance.

    1207091552 This is actually the MOST disgusting of the bunch.

    1207091553 Full leg...friggin sexy eh?  You can totally see the rash too...mmmm.

    1207091608 The outside of my leg...that be where the plate is.

    1207091608a As you can see, I am still a slave to fashion.

    1207091609 Just keeps getting better, BUT...

    1207091855 I have a cast now.  So I don't have to stomach that kind of thing anymore.  Look forward to more pics, and even the x-rays as soon as Brian can figure the programming out. 

Thursday, 03 December 2009

  • Currently
    Maximum Ride: The Manga, Vol. 1
    By James Patterson, NaRae Lee
    see related

    Tales From the Bed

    Contrary to general thought, this is not a sex post.  I wish it were...kind of.  This is more an update on WHY I have spent nearly everyday since November 24th...IN BED.  That was a Tuesday, and that Tuesday I was supposed to meet Brian's parents.  Unfortunately, that had to be put on hold because we were both called into work.  That was bad enough, enough to ruin my day, then work sucked in an epic fashion, fortunately Brian was going to be over later.  Then Buddy called and asked if I wanted a ride to the Wal-mart on Elmore, I look at the clock and say yes.  Brian works there and I would be there as he was getting off and just go home with him, PERFECT plan, right?  That day was rainy, and when we got to Wal-mart I was walking about average speed, which is to say slightly faster than normal.  I slipped.  There weren't any mats or safety cones or anything, but...I still slipped.  I couldn't get up.  Brian was paged, and when he got up there he saw that I was in a wheelchair.  Mom drove me to the hospital, Brian and Buddy followed.  Brian stayed with me, and was there when I heard that I had to have surgery.  I broke my ankle in two places, AND dislocated it.  I was put on morphine, and they put my ankle in place, which hurt more than I can even explain.  Apparently I'm entertaining on drugs, Amanda showed up and was thoroughly amused.  I fell at 4:50 or so, and was in surgery by 10, when Brian left.  He had to be at work the next morning at 8.  When he got off work, he came to the hospital and spent the night with me.  He bought flowers and balloons and I kinda fell a little more in love with him than I was, which I didn't think was possible.  I came home the next day, Thanksgiving.  Then Friday was my birthday, which was fairly bland.  Monday, however, Brian came over and spent the night.  We watched movies and ate pizza, and that was fun, but most of all I was just SO happy being with him.  Really, there's no one else I would rather be with if given the opportunity.  After he left, I totally got him the awesomest Christmas present ever.  Was it more than I should have spent?  You betcha, but...he's worth every last penny.  He'll be over Monday, to play cameraman when I get my hard cast.  I can hardly wait for the hard cast and to see him.  Anyway...that's about all the update...oh two screws and a plate was the damage. 

Sunday, 25 October 2009

  • The hole punch

    Brian has a theory, everyone is issued a v-card, and holes are punched in it.  Kind of like a milk card or Subway card, right?  Well...mine was officially punched Wednesday night.  It was only because I asked him to, and...I felt guilty afterward.  He first came over Tuesday night because I had THE worst night...ever.  He planned Wednesday-Thursday though.  I made dinner Tuesday, which I was told was good, then he said, "I've never lied to you...until tonight.  I can't do it...the wheat noodles are awful."  Wednesday when he came over he met Buddy and Justin, which I thought went well.  We went to the store, he bought a toothbrush...and then when we got home I asked him to sleep with me.  He did.  In the morning I made pancakes, bacon and eggs, of those I only eat bacon.  After breakfast, we did it again, but it ended rather embarrassingly.  IE, first month on the pill...so anyone who knows anything about it, can imagine what nasty surprise we got.  I started crying, he said he would just take a shower and it would be fine...when he got out he asked if I was alright and kissed me.  It was so fucking sweet.  I'm such a girl...I love cuddling now too, and I don't understand it!  Anyway, after that, we talked...he wants to wait until we're more emotionally ready to have sex to do it again.  He thought I wouldn't wait, but...I will.  Then he said, "You've waited so long, and...I just really want it to be right."  Then when he came over on Friday we played Monopoly.  I'll get into it later though, haha, I have to get ready for work.

possums_rock

  • Visit possums_rock's Xanga Site
    • Name: Kehlie
    • Country: United States
    • State: North Carolina
    • Metro: Fayetteville
    • Birthday: 11/27/1988
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 10/23/2004
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